Coming Soon Mass Effect 3 : 10 Things That'll Definitely Happen

The seeds are there for all to see, you just need to join the dots...

There are a great many certainties when it comes to the happenings of Mass Effect 3, and we've spent weeks studying the series' plot strands to offer you our favourite ten...

Killing agents of the Shadow Broker will be fun.

10. The Quarians Will Be Bitch-Slapped

They lost out to the Geth, then became space-gypsies before the events of Mass Effect. In Mass Effect 2 all of our encounters with the Quarians involved them getting seven shades of shit beaten them by various angry robots; the heavy mech on Freedom's Progress, Kal Reegar's squad on Haestrom and Tali's old man on the Alarei. More Quarian pummeling will certainly ensue in Mass Effect 3.

“Either way, the Geth become ally number one”

9. The Shadow Broker Is Revealed

All roads lead to one man as the central facilitator of third-installment antagonisation; The Shadow Broker. He’s the only main character in the series to whom constant mention is made, but about whose identity we haven't a clue. Expect him – or her? – to feature big. Furthermore, we are betting that the Shadow Broker is someone very, very close to Shepard. Someone who has featured in both previous games. Hint, hint.

8. Liara T’Soni Returns As Central Character

Liara stands out as the only central character in the series that is being held fully in reserve for the third outing. Think about it. There’s no chance she died in the first one a la Urndot Wrex, Kaidan Alenko or Ashley Williams, plus she was the only definitely-alive returner in Mass Effect whom Shepard couldn’t invite on the suicide mission. Kept alive for a reason? Definitely. And her association with the Shadow Broker is yet another sign that this is almost certainly the case.

 

                                              Shepard will shag someone with green boobs.

7. Shepard Will Get Laid Again

Either he will rekindle his affections with Liara, if back in the Mass Effect days hot blue chicks were your thing – maybe not if you played through as a lady – or, more likely there will be some brand new hottie in Mr or Mrs Shepard’s life. We’re going with green boobs this time, just for contrast. Whichever way you look at it, Shepard is going to get some in Mass Efffect 3.

6. Shepard Will Punch The Reporter Again

After being given the option to smack Khalisah Bint Sinan Al-Jilan twice before, we're almost certain the chance to Falco Punch her again will crop up. Maybe BioWare will take it further this time, and prompts for 'uppercut', 'facepalm', 'vortex throw' and 'dragon punch' will pop up, alongside the dialogue "For the last time, no interviews!".

5. The Illusive Man Will Become A True Enemy

As fun as it was to keep things ambiguous, towards the end of Mass Effect 2 you can be in no doubt that this guy is bad news. And even if your particular Shepard was worse news, it doesn’t matter whether you play his game or not in the closing scenes, this guy is going to turn on you. We wouldn’t even be partially surprised if the Illusive Man puts a big fat bounty on your head as soon as the game starts.

4. Shepard Will Finally Fall In Love

Romance has been a big part of the series up until now. Rather than save the shagging until the end of the game, then forget all about it in the sequel, romance is likely to occur near the start of the game. Only this way will the narrative make Shepard choose between love and the fate of humanity as the game reaches the final curtain. Trust us on this; it’s the way trilogies work and Mass Effect has done nothing whatsoever to step outside of that Campbellian framework thus far, so we have no reason to assume it will. 

Ally Number 1: The Geth

3. The Geth Are Your Strongest Ally

Two possible outcomes from the decision you made with Legion. Either you decided to rewrite the Hertics so they could rejoin the True Geth and take up arms against the Reapers, or you decided not to rewrite the Heretics, leaving the True Geth to join Shepard in his battle against both the Heretics and the Reapers. Either way, the Geth become ally number one, since they have no loyalty to either Cerberus or the council. Like Shepard, they are rogue.

2. Kolyat Krios Becomes A Team Member

Thane is dead either way, suicide mission or not. Anyone who was put in the line of fire during the final strokes of Mass Effect 2’s plot will not be returning in any way beyond the perfunctory scene or two, which is little more than BioWare’s way of telling you that they know and appreciate the things you’ve been doing thus far, but is otherwise of no consequence. Kolyat – Thane’s son – will join your team; it’s as certain as the setting sun.

1. The Council Will Lionise Shepard

The Council have been a thorn in Shepard’s side since day zip. Whether the former multi-species variety, or the new, ignominious human one, they have caused you nothing but problems and showed zero faith in Shepard no matter how many times he gets things right. As per storytelling law, they will finally give him the credit he deserves and probably bow to him along with the entire civilized galaxy in a Star-Warsian medal-ceremony ending.

Kolyat Krios will return.